


On the Rocks

by leviathanofthesky



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:01:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27203539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leviathanofthesky/pseuds/leviathanofthesky
Summary: Shizuo gets a pet rock for his birthday. Run Izaya run.
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya
Kudos: 26





	On the Rocks

**Author's Note:**

> Reposting some of my older stories. This one was written in 2011.
> 
> Note: Izaya and Shizuo are already dating here.

_ "Since you can't seem to take care of anything without otherwise smashing, crushing, breaking, squishing, or in other words, killing it, I thought that this would be the perfect pet for you. It also has a bigger brain than you, so I expect to see immediate results within a week. _

_ Love, Your dear Iza-Iza _

_ Oh, one more thing. Its name is Rocky, so you shouldn't be able to forget it, right Shizu-chan?" _

The bodyguard crushed the note in his hand, seething. Of all the birthday gifts to receive from his boyfriend, this was… he couldn't even come up with the right words to describe what he felt now. He grabbed the otherwise normal rock save for the revolting happy face drawn with a permanent marker on it and kicked open his door.

He had an informant to find.

.

Izaya half skipped along the streets of Ikebukuro, humming as he cradled a heavy bag in his arms. Today was the first birthday he was going to plan for his now beloved Shizu-chan, and he intended to make it the best, even if what he was carrying in his arms wasn't his "thing," so to speak.

He grinned when he saw said bodyguard already running towards him.

"Izaya!" the other roared.

Izaya frowned. That didn't sound very safe. He considered the situation for a moment, placed the bag next to the wall, and ran for it after hissing a few comments to some spectators nearby to not touch his package or suffer eternal humiliation after he deals with his beloved Shizu-chan. They gaped after his retreating figure.

"What did I do this time?" Izaya yelled to the bodyguard behind him as he ran faster; it really didn't seem like his health would take it very well if the raging beast caught up.

"This!"

Izaya felt something fly past his right cheek, missing him by inches. "That's really not a proper way to show me what it is, Shizu-," he was cut short when he suddenly tripped over something and face-planted into the pavement.

He groaned, rolling over to face death, his head spinning. Shizuo stood before him, arms crossed, nostrils flaring like an angry bull. Izaya looked down to see what had been so skilled to stop him in his tracks and saw a messily drawn face staring back at him.

"What is this?" He held back a chuckle despite his burning forehead, nose, knees- body for that matter- and picked up the rock, turning it in his hand. "You bought a pet rock?"

"No, you bought it for me!" Shizuo growled, showing Izaya the crushed note. The informant stared at it for a second, his lips pursed.

"Hm… that is my handwriting," Izaya confirmed.

"Of course it is! What kind of joke is this?" Shizuo started moving in, prompting the informant to begin scooting backwards.

"I swear, I don't remember writing it, or drawing this face," he pointed at the rock in his hands. "Look! It's not sophisticated enough for my art!"

"Yeah, whatever."

"Wait, I swear…" Izaya looked behind Shizuo to see a man running into the alleys with his bag. "Hey! Get back here!" He was up before the bodyguard could react, sprinting at full speed towards the corner the thief had disappeared around.

Izaya knew the bodyguard was running after him when he entered the alleyway, but he paid him no mind as he continued to chase the thief. He had spent hours figuring out what to buy, and there was just no way that some low-life thug was going to steal it away. The stuff was expensive.

It didn't take him long to corner the man at a dead end; after all, he knew these alleys better than anyone, especially since Shizuo had chased him so many times through them before they started dating. He chased him sometimes even now, actually.

"Don't hurt me!" the man pleaded, shielding himself with the bag.

"Then give me the bag back," Izaya told him calmly, slowly walking towards him.

"Then take it!" The man threw the bag at him before making a run for it. Panicking, the informant caught his prize only to come down under the sudden weight. The goods were even heavier than he remembered them being.

"Ha, got you!" The man yelled, whirling around to retaliate when he realized that the informant had fallen.

"Got you!" another voice echoed him. The thug fainted from a blow to the back before he even managed to turn around again.

"Hello, Shizu-chan," Izaya greeted the other from under the bag. He got up slowly, moving the object off him as whatever it was clanked inside.

"What the hell is that?" Shizuo eyed the package suspiciously.

"Uh… uh…" Izaya had really wanted to wait until they got to Shizuo's apartment, but upon seeing the rock from earlier in the bodyguard's hand, he decided to speed up the process. "Your birthday present. Happy birthday!" He offered the bag to the other.

Shizuo looked from the package to Izaya, wondering what other foul play this man had come up with on this day. Sighing in defeat, he accepted the package and opened it to find a few bottles inside: a mixture of wines, vodka, and several other names he didn't recognize.

"I had to taste test a lot of them the other night, mind you. Those were the best ones," Izaya huffed.

He looked back to Izaya, who had gotten to his feet.

"Thank you," he said, his anger from earlier dissipating. He supposed it wasn't too bad if Izaya had sent the pet rock as a prank gift. Another thought hit him. "Wait, you taste tested how many kinds of alcohol?"

"Enough," the informant replied. He frowned. "I had a horrible hangover the next day too. Take some responsibility!"

Shizuo thought for a moment and took out the crushed note from his pocket. "And you're sure you don't remember writing this."

"Positive," Izaya replied.

Shizuo sighed to hide his laughter.

He wondered how many cups it would take to get Izaya drunk tonight. Come to think of it, he had never drank with the informant before. A smile crept up to his face as the possibilities ran through his mind.

Izaya eyed the pet rock again and realization finally hit him.

' _ Well…'  _ the informant thought as he followed Shizu-chan back to the latter's apartment.

' _ At least I'm not a sleepy drunk.'  _ He grinned, grabbing Shizuo's hand and earning a panicked glance from the other as the bodyguard skimmed the empty street for any onlookers.

_ 'That way I won't miss out on the fun tonight.' _


End file.
